A Win For Harley Riders
Fuck you, I bought it, it’s MINE.
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Right-to-Repair is a no-brainer. You bought a thing, you want to fix it — or nominate someone else to fix it for you — and the manufacturer doesn’t. How ever can we resolve this intractable difference of opinion?
It’s a real puzzler. Wait, how about this?
Fuck you, I bought it, it’s MINE.
That’s got a real ring to it, doesn’t it?
If you pay attention to this stuff, you may have noticed that manufacturers tie themselves in knots explaining that they should be able to monopolize parts and service for your stuff — to protect you:
- Medtronic: Your choking death is for your own good, because third-party ventilator repairs might be unsafe;
- Wheelchair monopolists: You must be confined to bed for weeks or months because third-party powered wheelchair repairs might be unsafe;
- John Deere: You can’t get the crops before that big storm arrives because third-party tractor repairs might be unsafe (also, if you complain about this, we won’t fix your tractor, ever);
- Apple: You can’t let a mall kiosk replace your shattered iPhone screen because they might backdoor your phone (how can we trust you to pick a repair place when you can’t even hold your phone properly?);
- McDonald’s: Your local franchisee can’t fix its ice-cream machine because third-party ice-cream machine repairs might be unsafe;
- Auto-makers: If third parties are allowed to fix your car, they’ll steal all the data we harvest with it, track you down, and murder you.
The correct answer to all of these claims is “fuck you, I bought it, it’s mine.”
Repair-hating corporations recognize the power of this argument. That’s why John Deere and GM both told the US Copyright Office that you don’t actually own your tractor, or your car, and you can’t ever own them because the software inside them is only licensed, not sold.
Manufacturers have always liked the idea of monopolizing repairs (fun fact, Plutarch had to sue the private equity owners of the shipyard at Delphi to let him do repairs on the Ship of Theseus).
